What do you do when you are in love with your best friend?

I am in love with my best friend. I don't know what to do anymore. We've been friends for a long time. We dated once for a month and a half, it was the best month and a half of my life. I was in love with her, and she knew that. She kissed one of her friends, a girl, and I told her I didn't care because I loved her too much for it to cloud my judgment. Near the end of our relationship, about 7 months ago, I told her that she made me so happy, that if I never got to talk to her again, I'd be alright. That if I was never able to kiss her again, I'd be alright. About a week later, she told me that she couldn't see us in a relationship anymore. I concluded that we were just friends who kissed. She left me for the girl she kissed and now they are on their 8 month anniversary. They count the first time they kissed, during my friend's and my relationship, as their anniversary. Anyway, she tells me she loves me, but she's not in love with me. She knows very well that I'm still in love with her. She's told me that I'm the most important person in her life, but I don't know how I can be more important than someone's lover. She has told me, and I have concluded, that they are in love. We recently had a falling out because I used to tell her how much she meant to me and she couldn't handle it with being in her relationship that she's in. I used to tell her that she's what I see when I close my eyes. She's all I see when I dream. Etc. I always thought I was doing the right thing because I was just trying to cheer her up when she was down. Given I meant everything I said, but still. Anyway, she couldn't handle it anymore, so she asked me to stop. She is the only real friend I have and yet I give up so much for her and I get thrown to the dogs because I cannot even speak my mind anymore. It sucks. Anyway, every weekend or so we have a little movie night thing at my house on Saturdays and lay on my bed and watch some cool movie that I found or whatever. One time she was over, only a month ago, one thing led to another and she ended up naked in my bed and I...we didn't have sex...I just used my hand to pleasure her. She told me to think for myself and I did it. It happened again two weeks later. Eventually that led up to her telling me to stop expressing my feelings because we both knew it wasn't right. The way she phrased it was ';...passion gets the best of us sometimes, but that cannot be us anymore.'; I just don't know what to do. We know everything about each other. Like I said before, she tells me I'm the most important person in her life, however, I cannot see it. She has never given anything up for me. At least not that I'm aware of. I stand by her more than her girlfriend does, but it just doesn't seem to matter. Also, she's bi, not homosexual. She also tells me that she can never see us apart, as in not friends, but when she says that, I just think that someday I want to marry her. The thought has crossed my mind so many times. Any help would be amazing. I'll answer any questions you have about my situation. Thank you. P.S. I am not getting at the fact that I want to have a physical relationship with her, I could care less about physical. I just want to know what I should do about the entire situation. We understand each other so much. I once kissed her, one of the movie nights, and she was okay with it to the extent that she didn't hate me after I did it. There was an awkward pause for about thirty seconds, but then it was fine. I just don't if she can ever be in love with me instead of just love me as a friend, I guess. I don't know. If you need any clarification, I'll be glad to answer.What do you do when you are in love with your best friend?
It seems as though you are looking down the road to a lot of heartbreak if you keep trying to become more than friends with her. First, it doesn鈥檛 seem as though she herself knows what she wants or who she is. She is stringing you along in the love area. It honestly seems as though she cares for you, but, I hate to say it, it sounds like she trying to make sure you don鈥檛 go anywhere just in case this relationship she is in doesn鈥檛 go anywhere. Girls do that kind of thing a lot. Specially girls who bat for both sides of the field, they are always battling with the question as to which gender they should choose. (I鈥檝e had a lot of friends like that, and most of them had a special person and one of the other gender they kept on the side for when the mood struck.)





When you were together she cheated on you and now she is cheating on her girlfriend on your movie nights. She鈥檒l never be a one person girl. It sound like she is mostly lost and until she figures out who she is there can be no resolve. My advice is to be there for her as a friend, but stop giving her the male out鈥he has chosen to be with a girl, if and when she figures out what she wants more than maybe you鈥檒l have a future, but right now all you are doing is showing her that its ok to use you.What do you do when you are in love with your best friend?
I feel for you my friend, you're stuck in-between a rock and a hard place. I'll tell you though as long as you make yourself available to your friend things aren't going to get better. I understand you love her, but as she said she's not in love with you, don't put yourself though this heartache anymore. How can she claim that you're the most important person in her life, when she knows she's stepping on your feelings. Don't let this happen anymore, your on the losing end, its time you took charge of your life. Get a job or a hobby, meet new people, something that will keep you busy and away from your friend. It won't be easy but you can do it, good luck.
i don't think you should pursue her


if ur friends keep it that way,


unless she shows signs that she wants u not her gf


and her liking boys and girls could make it a little difficult
First of all, I think that you're whipped and it's no wonder she doesn't want to be with you. Who wants to be with a man who doesn't have a backbone? You let her treat you like crap, walk all over you, and I have to tell you that most women want a guy who can act like a man. At least have some respect for yourself. If you want her to be a part of your life as your girlfriend then that's the first thing you have to do for yourself - get a backbone.





Secondly, no more physical intimacy - at least not until you are sure that she wants you for you and not a part-time thing or as a replacement for what she's missing in her current relationship. Don't be the doormat.





Finally, obtain that life you need to have for yourself. Involve yourself with other friends and hobbies/activities. Go places, do things, and don't be so focused on her. Once she notices that you have stopped paying so much attention, that you actually are an individual who won't be trampled on... Well, she just then might take notice.