Would you abandon your best friend during 60 drug free hours of childbirth labor and 10 hours of drug free... ?

Arianna and I have been best friends since we were both 13 (we’re both 29 now).In that time she’s gone to hell and back for me time and time again, risking her life, her health, her marriage, her career and her entire life savings to help me out. She has truly been an incredible friend.


A few years ago she met a guy and fell madly in-love with him. She ended up giving up everything to be with him because her parents didn’t agree with her marrying below our class (he was a mechanic) even though he adored her.


They got married and tried for years to conceive and after 5 miscarriages just when she got past the first trimester, her husband died in a car accident. She was absolutely devastated and decided to have her baby at home completely naturally with a midwife because she was terrified something would happen to the last bit of her husband she still had and because her biological mother died during childbirth in a hospital.


She begged me to be there for her during the birth and I flat-out refused as I find natural childbirth not only utterly revolting but also horribly time-consuming. Everyone in my family was born via c-section and I told her if she didn’t end up having one, she can count me out for the birth.


She’s been suffering from panic attacks for a few years now and during the 60 hour labor and 10 hours of pushing both she and he midwife called several times asking for me but I hung up on them because she knew where I stood.


She ended up having a stillborn baby at home and blames me for it. She called me a heartless *****, asking how I could have abandoned her after everything she’s done and given up to help me. Why can’t she get it through her head that stillbirths are a fact of life? Why can’t she understand my position on this?




















Would you abandon your best friend during 60 drug free hours of childbirth labor and 10 hours of drug free... ?
Her husband dies... her child dies... her ';best friend'; hangs up on her when she need you... You are a heartless ***** just like your ';best friend'; said. Apparently you have nothing but your own gratification and self desires in mind and well to hell with your ';friend';.





And the fact that you are still referring to yourself as her ';best friend'; is comical... I wouldn't put up with stuck up snobby self absorbed dumbass ***** like you. Luckily I know how to treat people AND choose friends (and partners) so I don't have to worry about anything like YOU happening to me.





You would do just as much good if you went right now and banged your head on a rock as you would sitting there hanging up on your friend.Would you abandon your best friend during 60 drug free hours of childbirth labor and 10 hours of drug free... ?
Wow if this is a true story then you are one horrible person! You couldn't have got over the fact of her having a natural child birth to be there with her, especially after you know that she is alone and has no support....I cant imagine someone pushing for 10 hours though so I don't fully believe this story!
wow, she is far better off without a friend like you, it sounds like she has been an amazing friend to you and you have treated her worse than I would treat my enemies.


Stillbirths are a fact of life as much as complete selfish, shallow b****es are !
If this question is real then your a tosser!


That poor woman in need of a best friend an you desert her...she's just wasted 16 yrs of her life on you!
Your a horrible Friend...and just remember...karma...what comes around goes around.
are you the same one posting under ';waiting for an angel'; name?





i don't believe your story
sorry but you are wrong and a horrible friend. She is better of without you in her life.
Because you're a B!tC#. Plain %26amp;%26amp; simple.
As if this is true. Your an idiot.
Sorry but i do think that you could have been there for her by what you have said she has been there for you when you needed her.


An at the most important stressful time of her life you dont want to know her I think that you are a bad friend, IF I was her I would be deeply hurt that you werent there. I think that she is just venting her anger and lose and everything and blaming you I also think that you sound a bit heartless Yes still borns are a part of life but until you have one or have lost a child you will NEVER understand.


HOW ABOUT you try and an be a friend and STOP THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF and support her! that is if she even wants to KNOW you,
Sorry but you do sound like a bad friend. I find vomit utterly revolting but I still hold my best friends hair when she drinks too much! Its something you do for friends. Time consuming? Friends stick it out and not be selfish about everything! And marrying below your class? You probably need to get off your high horse and realize your friend needed you! Sometimes rich girl it's not all about you!
Yes, it would have been smarter for her to go to the hospital. But if you're worried that the stillbirth ended your friendship, it didn't. Your friendship ended when you refused to be with her when she needed you the most.





Addendum: I do have to add that something about this story doesn't ring true. If you were trying to defend yourself you would not have used the word 'abandon' to describe what you did, given the significant negative connotation it carries.
I hope this question is a joke, because if you're actually serious you are one heartless *****. All I can say is karma will come back to bite you in butt. You're an idiot and Arianna deserves a far better friend than a condescending taker like you.
Wow. Not sure if this is posted for shock value or not, but here goes.... she's not right in blaming you for the stillborn, that would have happened whether you were there or not. But for you to not be there for her and feel like a home birth is too TIME CONSUMING for you, that's not right. If you say she's put her life on the line for you and you demand her to have a csection and you don't have time for a homebirth, that's very arrogant of you. How about you both walk away, you're both a little touched.
Reverse the situation. You said your friend has been there for you through thick and thin. You even said she gave up her family for her husband.Granted, that wasn't for you, but look at how much she has changed/ given up and sacrificed in her time of falling in love, getting pregnant, losing her babies and her husband. Pregnancy is supposed to be a wonderful and positive time. Going into labor and doing it how you want to do it is one of the wonderful things about our country and all of the options we have as women. You turned into something about you because you don't believe in something. That is selfish. No, the baby being born stillborn is not your fault, but it makes it so much worse that you were not there supporting her. I dint really know what to say. I have gone to hell and back for friends even when I did not want to just because it is the right and noble thing to do. During my first two trimesters of pregnancy i was so sick with morning sickness I couldnt stand up, but when my best friend called me because she had had too much to drink, I drove the hour to her apartment, and held her hair while she threw up. Did I mention she is underage? And that her boyfriend was there but he refused to help her because he hated vomit? Being there for a friend is just something you do, especially if you are as close to her as you make it sound. You dont always agree, bu that is an obligation of being a true friend. I think your friend is right in saying that you were heartless. You sound selfish and uncaring and mean. Stillbirths, however often they happen are a fact of life, that doesnt mean they are not hard to handle. It is like someone close to you in your family dying. It sounds to me like you need to step back and evaluate yourself for a long time. I would be ashamed if I were you.It sounds to me as if you have never been through pregnancy and childbirth before, and if you have then there is something wrong with you mentally. any woman who has not yet gone through pregnancy and labor knows how hard it is, even just from hearing about it or watching it on television, let alone actually being in that situation. Like I said, step back and re-evaluate yourself and the choices you make. Life isn's just about you. It is about loyalty and it sounds like you just dont know what that is.
First of all, if this were to be real you would not to be blamed for the death of the baby.





Second of all, yes-I do think you are a heartless *****. You would not support your friend, emotionally and/or physically, in her time of need because she was not doing things the way you would like her to? ';It is my way or no way';? Some friend you are. Perhaps if you had been there, your shallow mind would have changed to realize how natural and beautiful child birth is.





Again, not saying you are to blame but perhaps if you had been there you could have convinced your friend to transfer to the hospital. However, I question the validity of this situation. Having studied to be a midwife at one point, they are bound by laws (in most states) requiring them to transfer if the situation becomes high risk-and certainly 60 hours of labor and/or 10 hours of pushing would merit high risk.





I am sorry for your friends loss-both of her husband and child, and of a friend. However, it is better for her. She obviously put a lot more into the friendship than you did.