I've been in love with my best friend for 3 and a half years... Please read!?

I met my best friend my junior year in high school when I took an after school job. He was already the manager there. Right now he's 19 and I'm 20. I didn't start out having a crush on him but we became really close really fast and decided our senior year that it would be fun to live with one another while in college.





Living together was pretty innocent, we truly acted like brother and sister. I went through some really hard times and I feel like most roomates would have given up on me or kicked me out but despite being a difficult roomate he treated me with so much love and compassion and above all respect. We really grew close and I know that he felt more comfortable with me than any other girl, or friend for that matter. I started falling in love but there was nothing I could do because we were supposed to be best friends. Living with him made matter worse because that is no way to start a relationship. It would have been akward (do we sleep in the same room and other stupid questions would arise). Also it would have sped things up WAY to much in an unnatural way even if we WERE both equally interested in each other in a romantic way. So I had no choice but to keep my mouth shut.





He really is perfect. He would make any girl the luckiest girl in the whole world if they were to become his girlfriend. I can't think of one bad thing about him, his personality, or his looks and it's not just because I'm infatuated either... I couldn't think of a negative quality even when I had no crush on him at all.





Well I moved out a few months ago (totally unrealated to my delima) and we are still besties. He has supported me through so much and I know I'm never going to find another guy like him. I don't want 10 years to pass and wonder if it would have ever worked out. I feel like we belong together, like it's destiny or fate that we'll end up together.





Here are the reasons I can't just ask him out and be done with it...





First of all we are besties and I could really eff things up right if he's not into me. I don't want this mess up everything and make our relationship akward because I would rather never go out and be best friends for freakin ever than nothing at all. He is the greatest thing that has happend to my life.


Also he grew up in a great home, but it was a sheltered one. So he's shy and modest and he's still a virgin. He hasn't gone out with anyone the whole time we have been friends. I'm wondering if he's asexual and just not interested in a relationship AT ALL. The only reason I'd even think he was interested in having a relationship with ANYONE is because he always talks about kids and how he can't wait to have one someday.





I really need some advice and please don't tell me to just ask him because put urself in my shoes and imagine the best friend you've ever had and ever will have and how it could all vanish if you let your true feelings out!





What are some of your ideas and suggestions??I've been in love with my best friend for 3 and a half years... Please read!?
If I were this guy and did not want to date you, no way in hell would our friendship be in jeopardy. So there is nothing to lose in telling him.I've been in love with my best friend for 3 and a half years... Please read!?
You know in life i have learned that the best mate is the one you were friends with first ask simple questions to see how he feels about dating and friends, feel him out before you drop a bomb.
go out with the guy already
Okay, I don't know why you need people to tell you this, but ASK HIM OUT!!!!
I have the same problem but im a lot younger then you are, which is why I want to wait.





Has he ever let out clues on how he feels about you..?? Like he says something and you just take it as it is but ever thought it had a deeper meaning to it or something...





My point is... its better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.





Maybe if you asked him questions like, what kind of girl he's into or something (he might describe you) and maybe even if you asked him what would he say if you wanted to be his girlfriend, or even what would he say if you ever told him you wanted to have sex with him... see what he answers, basic stuff maybe he'll let some stuff slip out..
well if you tell him


it could screw up your friendship if he doesnt feel the same way.





and if you dont tell him


you could loose him. and he would never know how you really felt.





OR!


he just might possibly feel the same way. and if you tell him, it might all work out.





i cant tell you what to do, so im leaving it up to you what you do.
What's worse:


Not telling him and losing him to another girl


OR


Telling him and possibly losing his friendship, but likely not





Weigh out your options for yourself. I can't tell you what to do.
1) I was also best friends with my now-boyfriend, and honestly, if you have feelings for him, just go for it. If you are good enough friends and he rejects you, eventually you will both be able to get over this incident and be back to how it was. It worked well for me! You don't want to look back on this when he's with someone else and regret it.





2) Why don't you talk to him some more about his views on relationships? And I don't think being a virgin has anything to do with being ';asexual.'; Some people are choosier about sex.





I say you go for it! Good luck.