Im gay and in love with my best friend, I am so confused, please help me.?

Hey guys, live in sacramento California, im 18 going on 19, and I havent ever had a real girlfriend, or boyfriend, but I am attracted to guys, my best friend. I have known my best friend for about 5 years, throughout the really tough parts of my life, he was there to support me, he was there to listen, he was there..





So ive fallen in love with him, hes told me he loves me, but me and my idiot self, acted so homophobic and replyed to his text '; thanks a lot DAD LOL oh yeah tell mike hes the mom now ';.





Now looking back to that, i just feel so idiotic, because now, he thinks I hate gay people, which I dont. But look, ive told him i loved him like a brother a lot, and then i told him i love him and he said he loves me too, but quickly reinforced his comment with '; just a brotherly love! ';. His dad is about 50, and like all 50 year old white dads, he hates gay people. My friend, lets say his name is '; A ';.





Well, A shares his life with me, because i tell him everything about me and my life, we are closer than brothers, his dad dosent like me because i think he thinks im blocking their relationship, which i sometimes feel i am, but look the main thing is, i love him, he says he dosent want a girlfriend, because they are costly, and the emotional stuff isnt for him, but look here, me and him, talk about emotional stuff all the time, I just love him so much, he is about to graduate, i graduated last june, but im afraid, hes going to go off to college ( which he dosent want to do ) and ill never see him again, ill lose contact with him, dude, when i dont talk to him for a day, i get so depressed and gloomy, he is the reason i am alive today, he talked me out of killing myself on the phone, I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH! Please guys, dont try to preach to me about the bible, because ive already heard EVERYTHING, multiple times.





BTW, he dosent know im gay inside, nobody knows i am, and i really really am scared to tell anyone, im just so scared, please, someone help me.





If he is gay, hes not going to tell me, because he thinks i hate gay people, but he acts like i do, we just, get along so well, its scary. He, is just perfect to me, he plays football, he is in such good of shape, he takes care of himself, he makes me laugh all the time, we make eachother laugh all the time, the thing is, even if he does love me, I am not the best looking guy in the world...





Another thing, the other day, we were picking weeds, and well afterwards before we went inside, we went in his pool, and he just, is so perfect, everyone wants to be with him though, all the girls at school wants to be with him, all his guy friends ALWAYS wanna hang out with him, but time after time, he blows them off, to hang out with me.. Im sorry guys i just really need to get this out of my system, some of you have no idea how it feels, to be locked up, not being able to say anything to anyone about how you really feel, lying to your friends all the time so you dont look gay, guys please i need some real advice, i dont know how much longer im going to be able to take this, and please dont tell me to just '; come out of the closet '; people know, it is never the easiest thing in the world to do, and i am not ready to do it yet, unless he does it first, and thats where the conflict begins, if he is gay, hes not going to tell me, because if that is the situation, we are both scared, soooo scared because we just think, that, we will lose eachother if one of us tells the other that we are gay, and they dont take it well, ive told him before, im going to try it again, but i told him '; A, Even if you were gay, i would still be your friend, thats how cool we are bro. '; and he just sighed.





Ok guys i know this is like, a TON to read, but please, i need advice.. Badly. BTW i go to church, i know what the bible says, ive heard it bunches of times, please, no preaching, no telling me to come out of the closet, just advice, if thats too difficult to do, then go ahead and do it, but please no preaching at all, i really dont need it. Thank you.Im gay and in love with my best friend, I am so confused, please help me.?
WOW, what a predicament. You sound like such a sweet guy and I would give anything to have someone in my life like you have your best friend. Well where to start, I think the first thing to do is start talking with A and say to him that you are not homophobic at all and if A is ok with that then, personally that would be when I told him I was gay.


Have the two of you ever done anything sexual together? Like I don't know showered, mutually masturbated each other or even slept in the same bed? If you have then I would say he would be really comfortable around you, even though he sounds like he is already. I honestly think you will be ok, you said that he might be into guys but is too scared to tell you. You and A are in the same boat, confused and scared but the beautiful thing is you have each other.


Growing up is so hard, trust me, and if you have been through a lot together like you say then I think he will be there until the very end.


I think I am gay and I have OCD, I left school at the age of 17 and lost a lot of friends, I went under a rock so to speak and now after like a year or more I have finally got this amazing friend, she is awesome. I cant come out to anyone, my family would dis-own me and I am not sure, even though I am pretty sure my BFF would be fine with it, how she would take it. I have just been dropping hints here and there, like I have been really open that I am bi-sexual and then when I have a little to much alcohol I have told her I think I am gay but because I have never had a girlfriend or even been kissed she always says you sound more bi. So I know where you are coming from, I am on the same path and sooner or later I will have to let her know but we have grown up together, went to high school etc.


Now I think you should let him, just be honest and dont apologise about being gay, you shouldnt have to understand that he doesnt want to be your friend anymore, he should accept you no matter what gay, straight,black, white, blue or polka dotted.


And as for you saying you arent as beautiful as A, you sound effing amazingally becautiful, I mean looks arent everything, and you have inner beauty.


And if he doesnt want to go to college then maybe if you opened up to him he might stay, who would know. I think you are one of the main reasons he doesnt want to go.


Please dont heistate to email me, I will help you.


Just tell him, best of luck and I know things will all work out fine.


Best of luck.Im gay and in love with my best friend, I am so confused, please help me.?
Ok sweetie listen ima siting here and reading this and alot of things come to mind just tell him say listen i kno its sorta wierd lol but i kinda think im gay i hope its not wierd to you
that waz confuzing. I say u should just tell him
Okay, well first thing I think you should do is let him know that you are not homophobic. See how he reacts to that. If he acts positively you should go ahead and tell him the truth before its too late and he's gone for good. You'll never know, you could probably work something out with your long distant relationship. But if he acts negatively to you telling him your not homophobic than I guess the next step should be whatever your gut tells you to do. I'll pray that it turns out okay. Good luck!
I think you should ask him what would you think if I were gay.


If he freaks don't tell him just say you were just wondering because you heard this tv show or something talking about it. IDK make up something.


If he doesn't then bam your golden opportunity.
No signs of A being gay here, except the ';If you were gay I'd still be your friend...'; ~sigh~ part. And the whole he doesn't want a girlfriend for yadayadayada.





I'm not sure. It would be extremely unsurprising if he was gay and he liked you, but you can't be too sure. From what you've told us, there's no evidence in which we can interpret the fact that he's gay. Some straight guys just don't seem to like girls for some reasons, but they're not gay.





My advice would be to come out to him. You guys are very close, and I don't know how much closer you can get while just remaining best best friends (wink wink). Come out to him and explain everything. You don't need to tell him you are in love with him (yet). Just make sure he knows that you're gay.





When you come out to him, ask him if there's anything to say, although that might seem awkward, and he'll probably have a lot of things to say, anyways. Listen to what he has to say. If he is gay, then he might come out to you at that point, but he might not. If he isn't gay, he might be accepting, or he might jump up with a disgusted expression and walk away. Be prepared for any reaction that might hurt or perhaps relieve you.





Right now, there's no telling what he will do. He sounds very accepting of who you are and who you might be. But only follow this advice if you're READY to come out of the closet.





Good luck :)
Well if your not ready to come out the closet thenn.. Pull him in with you :] Just show him this, so he KNOWS how you feel. It seems to me he really does love you. Really when you truly love someone it never goes away. It doesn't matter about looks, its personality he loves. Im sure that if you tell him half the wonderful things you said in that MONSTER of a question then he will understand and be so happy. I really think that you two love eachother, not only like brothers. Just talk to him, you dont have to talk to anyone else.. Give it a try.
I dont have the best advice in the world but I will say my heart goes out to you, I wish you all the best for the future and the only suggestion I can make is that you follow your heart and do what's right for you. Sounds very cliche doesn't it, but it's true. If you spend your whole life living the way you think or know people want you to but you're not truly happy, you'll regret it so much in years to come when you've gained a bit more confidence and perspective and realise what you should have done years before. I know plenty of gay men and lesbians, many of whom are close friends, and they've all been where you are now but they've somehow found the strength to admit to everyone they love who they are and they're a lot better off and happier for it. It's obvious your friend feels the same as you. I would pursue this a little more and when the time is right to let others know you'll feel it. I wish you every happiness in life I honestly do. xx
Get in to a conversation about the gay community. You live in Calfornia so a good conversation starter for it is... ';so what do you thin about prop 8?';


So you can at least see if he is homophobic... I mean you think he thinks you're homophobic, but do you know if he is?





Just try to stay in contact with him while he's away...


At least let him know you aren't homophobic, you don't have to come out to do that.


Then maybe if he is gay he'll be the first to say something... or whatever.





Good luck with getting your guy.