Gay (Coming Out) Help For Someone Who Denies That They're Gay.?

I have always known I was gay...Since about the age of 13 (grade 7). I first found out when I fell in love with my best friend, and felt that I had to come out. I came out to her, but she was straight, so I kept everything else to myself. Still, though, I wanted to be with her. So, instead of sharing my emotions with her, I wrote letters and would keep them, but would never give them to her. While I was being dropped off at school, I dropped a letter unintentionally and without my knowledge, my mother picked it up and read it. After school, I came home to fall asleep to my laptop, which was set on a yuri site. I usually closed it because I didn't want anyone to know I was gay (lesbian). You see, I had come out to my grandmother and she had hurt me with ';Oh, it's just a phase. Gay people are so dumb and you don't need to be a part of it. Don't worry, I won't tell your mother you said anything, I wouldn't want you to embarrasss yourself.'; So, I didn't ever tell anyone but my friends. Now, when my mom got home, she sat on top of me and woke me up. Seeing as how I couldn't move, she asked if she could ask me a question, and then asked me to explain the letter. I tried to deny my being gay, and like I had always denied my being gay when she suspected it before, I hid it, saying that what I did was just a dare from my other friend who told me to write the letter. She wouldn't drop it though, and so she kept asking me. I wanted to tell her, but though she said she would understand me, whenever she sees gay people, she makes a comment and gets angry. I don't have another place to live, and I can't get a job yet (stupid economy). My question is this: I want to come out to my mom. She wants to be closer to me and I want to tell her. Should I? Should I tell anyone besides my mother? Or should I just keep it a secret inside myself and not tell anyone? I don't want to go through this alone...So what am I supposed to do? First (and most helpful) answer gets best answer point thingy. Please, just help me, I can't go on like this...Denying who I am for my mother's sake...I just can't do it. So, please help me.Gay (Coming Out) Help For Someone Who Denies That They're Gay.?
Honesty is the best policy, I've always found. There are support groups for parents of gay children to help them learn to accept it. Perhaps you should be ready with information for her in case she reacts badly, but give her the benefit of the doubt. She's your mother and from what you've said (and the fact that it's almost always true), it sounds like she loves you and wants what's best for you.





People have come out to me a few times. I could tell they were nervous, even though they knew me well enough to know that it wouldn't make any difference. It's a bit awkward when someone comes out to you. People who don't react badly often don't know how to react at all. The first time it happened, I said ';uh... congratulations?';. To which my friend said ';uh... thanks.';





As Harvey Milk said, ';If a bullet should go through my head let that bullet go through every closet door.'; (a bit melodramatic, but after all, he did take a bullet for the cause) His general point was that if everyone were out of the closet than there wouldn't be a person on earth who didn't have a gay friend and homophobia would disappear. He considered it the duty of every homosexual to be open about who they are. He also recognized that it's a very difficult duty to fulfill and himself was in the closet for years before becoming an activist.





May I recommend a movie that I imagine would be particularly good for an adolescent lesbian considering coming out to her mother. Show Me Love, available from Netflix Watch Instantly (so you don't have to bring the physical DVD into your house before you've come out):


http://www.netflix.com/WiMovie/Show_Me_L鈥?/a>Gay (Coming Out) Help For Someone Who Denies That They're Gay.?
It sounds like your mother already knows, but is waiting for you to come out to her. She is your mother and should love you no matter what. Usually parents know before their child even admits it (this is how it was with most of my lesbian/gay friends). So if she really is aware of it then she has had time to come to terms with it. I don't think you should hold this all in because you never know what holding in all of these feelings can do to you physically and emotionally. In the end it is your choice to come out to her, but be ready for the bad and the good. Like my mom says, ';Prepare for the worse but hope for the best.';





Good luck.
I kinda went through a similar situation...I've always known a liked (loved) :) LOL females. I was 14 years old when my bestfriend told my mom and her bestfriend I was gay. She was the only one I thought I could trust but she failed me. I was so disappointed cause I wasn't ready to come out either. My mom and her bestfriend had confronted me with it and I also denied it at the same time. I was sooooo NERVOUS and ASHAMED at the time I just wanted to disappear!!!! Believe me it was not easy. Well they bought it, and my bestfriend was laughing her *** off. I was like why would you do that? She didn't think nothing of it, but she apologized and said she didn't mean to. Anyway when I was about 18 years old I was working at McDonalds my first job I had I was in love with this chick that worked up there too.... She made a comment that she was attracted to me, but around other people she said he was striaght. There after we became bestfriends. One day I called her and told her much I liked her and if she would be my girlfriend. She said yes and we dated for almost 2 1/2 years. Not a sole even knew we were together not even her bestfriend of 5 years! Cazy huh? Well we would always write letters to each other in a notebook and each day we would write each other. Oneday I was looking for it and I still believe my mom took it, but I was too embarrassed to go that route so I just stop with the letters and if I had someting to say I just told my girlfriend over the phone. After that relationship ended cause she moved to Dallas. I then dated another girl for 4 years. I'm not living with my parents at this point I was 19 years old, still working at McDonalds at the time and meet this girl. My parents were living in D.C at the time. They came home to visit me and I introduced them to her. I never really told them we were together but I really did want to. Anyways to make a long story short after we ended that realtionship. I dated off and on. Finally my mother and I had a long conversation about why I'm not dating guys? I was actually happy to tell her I was not interested in guys. She also thought I was going through a phase. I said mom how many time have I ever talked to you about guys? Not that I have tried dating guys...I did and some of them actually wanted to marry me? WHAT???? I aways told them up front I was into females and they were cool with that we were always cool friends. I told mom it was not a phase and that I was NEVER going to be with one either. I was content with girls which I 'm currently in a relationship with another girl and we've been together for 3 years. We plan to get married soon, and my parents finally came to there senses and said they support my decision and if I'm happy...they were too. At 28 years old this is the happiest I've ever been. I don't have to hide anymore, and if people talk trash, I just tell them to **** off and that it's 2010 and ony getting more easier for gay people to com out to there parents, friends, and family. Trust me don't wait that long. All my past friends and present friends support who I am...that's all that matters. You'll know who your true friends are. Be yourself and good luck... If you have any questions you can e-mail me at zephia.brown@yahoo.com. All those times I 've dated a female they all said they were straight.... don't ever feel like you can't be honest with them about your feelings... It's worked everytime for me . Check out my facebook too okay you'll see me and my girl together. Don't forget to e-mail me. Good Luck my friend :)
that's your mother and you should be able to tell her anything. if she loves you, she will support you and be there for you. no one should have to keep anything like that inside. i would tell her(im sure she allready knows though) she is probably just waiting for you to actually say it to her